The Queen of Irrational Fears

Have I mentioned that I have a very active imagination? I think that in part is why I became a teacher, and it has served me well throughout the years in the creativity department...not so well in the big, scary, life-changing event spectrum.

I keep having day dreams of horrible, unimaginable (except in my mind) things happening to me and the baby. Just so you get an understanding, here are a few:

• I keep wondering if the baby can actually do damage to my organs and, perhaps, cause a hemorrhage, and I will slowly bleed to death internally.
• In my head, the baby's umbilical cord is like a creeping vine, just waiting to wrap the baby up and drag it off somewhere...always lurking, waiting for its opportunity.
• Can the baby's nails poke through my uterus and cause me to die a toxic painful death because of the amniotic fluid slowing leaking into my system?
• What if my amniotic fluid is slowly leaking out and the baby is flopping around in there like a fish out of water??
• Is there someone stalking me, waiting for the opportune time to kill me and take my baby?
• Can a baby fuse to your body?
• What if I have a C-Section and they put my organs back in wrong? It's not a game of operation!!

Like I said I have a very active imagination. Part of it is a defense mechanism, like if I think of everything bad that COULD go wrong, then I won't be surprised if something DOES go wrong. I don't believe in self-fulfilling prophecies, like thinking about all of this will make any or all of this happen. I just like to be prepared. And yes, I am neurotic...Happy Friday!!!

It's A...

I have some crow to eat...my mother has been telling me from the get go "It's a boy It's a boy It's a boy." I was skeptical to say the least...then we had our 14 week and we were told with 95% accuracy that we were having a girl. Ha! Take that! Not only have I been confidently calling her a "her" for 6 weeks, but also have been calling her by name (Maddie) and picked out colors for her nursery.

Well...........

She is actually a he. Oops! HIS name will be Logan Hunter Olson...

I love these statements from the sonographer...
"He's not giving your bladder much room. You must have to make frequent bathroom trips!" Um, Yeah, no kidding!!!
"Wow, He's active!" Yup, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! My little man doesn't like mama to sleep much...even now he is very attention hungry. If I might be resting he'll give me a swift kick to the tummy just to say, "Hey mom, remember me??"

Anyway, that was our eventful trip to the doctor this month. Next Appointment is November 9th. Enjoy the pictures from our Sonogram...

17 Weeks and counting!

We bought one of those over the counter doppler/movement listening devices last week. I wanted to just to see if we could hear anything. It was a $20 non-medical one, so I knew it wouldn't be as good as the doctor's office, but I thought it was worth a shot. The first night we had it, Jeff looked like a little kid playing doctor. Not only did he try for a good ten minutes to find the baby's heartbeat, he also found his own, mine, and the dog's. It was quite amusing!!!

Last night was the first night that we were successful finding her heartbeat. I had to lay on my side and cram the doppler under my stomach and lay on it, but we finally heard it. We also heard her moving around. It was funny, it almost sounded like a fish jumping in water. Just short quick little movements, but they were definitely there. I'm hoping once I figure out how to record it and put it on here.

I'm so excited for our next appointment on October 12th. Even though it's only been four weeks, I am so anxious to get another peek at her. It feels like after each appointment I can breath a tiny bit easier because we have made it another month.

We picked out colors and a theme for the baby's room the other night. We are waiting to get the "official" word on the 12th before we buy any paint or decorations, so I feel like an a car stuck in Neutral. I want so bad to start doing stuff, but we have to wait. Feels like I am constantly doing that lately, hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait.

We did get signed up for two parenting/birthing classes last weekend. Our first is this Sunday from 3-5. It is just an introductory what the _____ are we doing? class. We get to take a tour of the birthing center at the end of it which I am really excited to see. Hopefully, I will have a better idea of what everything will look like when the time comes. The other class is our birthing class that is in December. It is an all day class, but is only one day as opposed to an entire weekend, or several weeks. I can't believe it is all coming up so quickly!!!

Hope this finds everyone doing well! Gotta go :)

Love, Haley

Belly Picture Week 15

Here is the 15 week belly picture...I'm finally to the point were I don't just look chubby, but maybe almost pregnant. My friends have noticed and talk excitedly about the baby and rub my belly and say hi to the baby.

We think it is a girl, but they won't give us a definite, or more definite, answer until our next appointment on October 12 when we have our 3-D sono. Hopefully then they can confirm it more.

I have felt her move on a pretty consistent basis, no jabs or kicks yet, but can really feel when she is moving around and turning over.

Other than that doing good!

T-G-I-F!!!!!!

Hello, remember me? Sorry it's been so long...here is a quick recap of the past couple of weeks.

Last Monday I came home from my night class and was having horrible abdominal pangs, felt like period cramps on steroids...some were so painful that I was getting short of breath. I laid down on the couch and put my feet up and they seemed to diminish some, but came back throughout the week, especially when I was on my feet a lot. I finally sucked it up and called my doc last Thursday. They wanted to see me Friday. When we went in, they did a doppler and the heartbeat sounded fine. He said it could be a number of things, including stress, getting off the progesterone, or just growing pangs. Since then things have been going fine.

Morning sickness is still hanging around, but getting less pronounced. I haven't gotten sick since last Saturday, so I am crossing my fingers that it is making a quiet exit (knock on wood!) My belly just kind of showed up a couple days ago...I thought it was just the food I ate, but it doesn't seem to be going away. It's very little compared to other pregnant bellies, but it is a belly none the less, and people actually seem to be getting that I am pregnant and not just cranky and fat :)

We have our next appointment on September 15. I hope they do a sonogram that day so we can find out what gender the baby is. I have started trying to register for stuff, but it makes it hard to register for clothes and things for the nursery when you don't know what colors to get. If not I suppose I can make it to our 20 week appointment, although I may not be a very pleasant person. I am very Type A, and like to prepare well ahead of time for things, so waiting until then will practically kill me!

Hope all is well with everyone else!

10 week appointment

De-Stressing

I just have to get a few things off my chest that have been bothering me lately...If I seem ticked off, it's probably because I am...what is it about being pregnant that makes everyone and their mom have a sudden opinion about what you are doing right and wrong, and their own piece of advice for you...please forgive the following post and chalk it up to hormones and anxiety.

1. If I have to hear another person, particularly another pregnant celebrity that you can't even tell is pregnant except for their perfectly rounded tummy, talk about how wonderful pregnancy is and they are just loving the fact that they get to eat anything and everything and it's just so glorious, I might puke...well more so than I already am. It's probably just jealousy that is making me so mad at this, but I seem to have more morning sickness, headaches, and just all around blah-ness than anyone else I talk to. It feels like the worst flu combined with forced starvation that I could ever have imagined. I cannot eat meat or eggs. I cannot smell meat. I cannot see meat. I cannot smell olive oil, which really sucks because I love Italian food. I can't stand the smell of Taco Bell, my all time favorite place to eat. I hope once the hell months, aka the first trimester is over in two weeks that I will get a little bit back to normal and can start eating like a semi-normal person again.

2. I can not even tell you how many people I talk to that say, "I didn't even know I was pregnant until the doctor told me. I never had any morning sickness or felt sick at all." Well ladi-freakin'-da for you!!!! Now, when I am trying to express how down right miserable I feel, that is not the kind of crap you should tell me unless you have a death wish. This is what my diet has been resorted to: soup, bread with butter on it, water, mashed potatoes, occasionally mac and cheese. That is all that sounds good, tastes good, and stays down.

3. Everyone keeps asking me if I am eating my veggies and fruits and getting enough vitamins and blah blah blah and I really might shove my foot down the next person's throat who asks me that. I am eating what will stay in my stomach and not make me feel like I am going to throw up the kitchen sink, thank you very much.

4. If one more person asks me how far along I am and if I should be as big as I am, or reminds me of the weight gain limits of "healthy" pregnancy, I might shoot someone. For one, I am no bigger than I was before I got pregnant. I happen to have a lot, no really, A LOT, of air in my stomach all the time. I constantly feel like I need a pin to pop it and release some pressure. It is not baby weight, especially since I can't keep anything down long enough for me to gain weight anywhere. Secondly, it is none of your freakin' business, and unless you are my doctor, or a doctor period, please keep your mouth shut.

5. I am pregnant, and it is a major part of my life right now, and will be for the rest of my life. I am very sorry if that does not correlate to what you want to "deal with" or "talk about". I have a constant reminder every minute of every day that I am pregnant and that is what is on my mind. If I listen to what is going on in your life, and ask you questions about your goings on, yet you don't want to hear about what is going on with me, then you should probably not plan on being my friend from now on.

Whew...okay...I'm done for now. Just a few things I have been carrying around (haha literally and metaphorically) for the past few weeks. Thank you for listening to my rant, and I hope I didn't offend anyone out there in blog land...trust me when I say with 110% confidence that none of you are part of the problem. You all keep me sane, or at least as sane as can be expected right now.