Completed Baby's Room

Why???

Six years ago today I was woken up to the phone call telling me my grandfather had decided to end his life by shooting himself in a parking lot down by the river. I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life and how each and every day I find myself still asking why. Rascall Flatts just came out with a song not to long ago about a teenager committing suicide.

Here are the lyrics:
Why? by Rascall Flatts

You must have been in a place so dark
You couldn't feel the light
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud

Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This cant be the way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh why, that's what I asking
Was there anything i could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong
and why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song
Now in my mind ill keep you frozen as a 17 year old
Rounding third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun

Oh why that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
Oh God only knows what went wrong
and why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song

Yeahhhhh

Now the oak trees a swaying in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
Tangled thoughts i hear the mocking bird sing
this old world really ain't that bad a place

Oh there's no comprehending and who am i to try to judge or explain
But I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight
They were wrong
They lied
Now your gone and we cry
Its just not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song

Good News and Bad News...

After three attempts I finally got the results for my gestational diabetes test back...my glucose levels are good, which is great. That means I do not have gestational diabetes. However, my hemoglobin levels are low, which means I am anemic. The good news about this is that it is easily treated (by taking iron supplements) and it really has no effect on the baby since the baby gets his nutrients first and I get the leftovers, but it can cause preterm labor if it isn't treated enough or can cause the baby to be anemic after he is born. Can I just tell you how much I love the iron supplements?? NOT! They are so disgusting, they make everything taste like metal (even water) and they upset my stomachs. Let me run you down the list of meds that I have been on during this pregnancy:

-progesterone suppositories

-aspirin regiment

-prenatal vitamins

-folic acid supplements

-B6 to treat nausea

-Ferrous Sulfate (Iron)

That's just during the pregnancy...that's not courting all of the meds I had to be on just to get pregnant...I'm not complaining, just getting used to being a walking pharmacy. It sure makes packing for trips fun!

Well we are under ten weeks and counting...I'm getting a little nervous about the whole labor part. I don't know why but I am not nervous about having him home at all, just about getting him out. They say the best way to combat this is to educate yourself, but it seems the more I try to educate myself, the more nervous I become. I guess I'm kind of an ignorance is bliss kind of person. Jeff and I made our birth plan the other day and looking at all of that typed up just makes it real. So crazy that this little person is going to be here so soon!

I promise I will post pictures soon. We have the baby's room almost done, we are just waiting on the changing table to be delivered and the rocker, and then once it is completely done I will post the finished results.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and is looking forward to a wonderful New Year! Take Care!

~Haley

3-D Sono Pictures

We had a 3-D sonogram last Saturday. I am so happy with the pictures! It is amazing to me still that this little person is really growing inside of me and that my body is capable of creating this miracle! Enjoy and Merry Christmas!!!

The Queen of Irrational Fears

Have I mentioned that I have a very active imagination? I think that in part is why I became a teacher, and it has served me well throughout the years in the creativity department...not so well in the big, scary, life-changing event spectrum.

I keep having day dreams of horrible, unimaginable (except in my mind) things happening to me and the baby. Just so you get an understanding, here are a few:

• I keep wondering if the baby can actually do damage to my organs and, perhaps, cause a hemorrhage, and I will slowly bleed to death internally.
• In my head, the baby's umbilical cord is like a creeping vine, just waiting to wrap the baby up and drag it off somewhere...always lurking, waiting for its opportunity.
• Can the baby's nails poke through my uterus and cause me to die a toxic painful death because of the amniotic fluid slowing leaking into my system?
• What if my amniotic fluid is slowly leaking out and the baby is flopping around in there like a fish out of water??
• Is there someone stalking me, waiting for the opportune time to kill me and take my baby?
• Can a baby fuse to your body?
• What if I have a C-Section and they put my organs back in wrong? It's not a game of operation!!

Like I said I have a very active imagination. Part of it is a defense mechanism, like if I think of everything bad that COULD go wrong, then I won't be surprised if something DOES go wrong. I don't believe in self-fulfilling prophecies, like thinking about all of this will make any or all of this happen. I just like to be prepared. And yes, I am neurotic...Happy Friday!!!

It's A...

I have some crow to eat...my mother has been telling me from the get go "It's a boy It's a boy It's a boy." I was skeptical to say the least...then we had our 14 week and we were told with 95% accuracy that we were having a girl. Ha! Take that! Not only have I been confidently calling her a "her" for 6 weeks, but also have been calling her by name (Maddie) and picked out colors for her nursery.

Well...........

She is actually a he. Oops! HIS name will be Logan Hunter Olson...

I love these statements from the sonographer...
"He's not giving your bladder much room. You must have to make frequent bathroom trips!" Um, Yeah, no kidding!!!
"Wow, He's active!" Yup, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! My little man doesn't like mama to sleep much...even now he is very attention hungry. If I might be resting he'll give me a swift kick to the tummy just to say, "Hey mom, remember me??"

Anyway, that was our eventful trip to the doctor this month. Next Appointment is November 9th. Enjoy the pictures from our Sonogram...

17 Weeks and counting!

We bought one of those over the counter doppler/movement listening devices last week. I wanted to just to see if we could hear anything. It was a $20 non-medical one, so I knew it wouldn't be as good as the doctor's office, but I thought it was worth a shot. The first night we had it, Jeff looked like a little kid playing doctor. Not only did he try for a good ten minutes to find the baby's heartbeat, he also found his own, mine, and the dog's. It was quite amusing!!!

Last night was the first night that we were successful finding her heartbeat. I had to lay on my side and cram the doppler under my stomach and lay on it, but we finally heard it. We also heard her moving around. It was funny, it almost sounded like a fish jumping in water. Just short quick little movements, but they were definitely there. I'm hoping once I figure out how to record it and put it on here.

I'm so excited for our next appointment on October 12th. Even though it's only been four weeks, I am so anxious to get another peek at her. It feels like after each appointment I can breath a tiny bit easier because we have made it another month.

We picked out colors and a theme for the baby's room the other night. We are waiting to get the "official" word on the 12th before we buy any paint or decorations, so I feel like an a car stuck in Neutral. I want so bad to start doing stuff, but we have to wait. Feels like I am constantly doing that lately, hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait.

We did get signed up for two parenting/birthing classes last weekend. Our first is this Sunday from 3-5. It is just an introductory what the _____ are we doing? class. We get to take a tour of the birthing center at the end of it which I am really excited to see. Hopefully, I will have a better idea of what everything will look like when the time comes. The other class is our birthing class that is in December. It is an all day class, but is only one day as opposed to an entire weekend, or several weeks. I can't believe it is all coming up so quickly!!!

Hope this finds everyone doing well! Gotta go :)

Love, Haley