Tuesday, August 18, 2009

10 week appointment




Sunday, August 16, 2009

De-Stressing

I just have to get a few things off my chest that have been bothering me lately...If I seem ticked off, it's probably because I am...what is it about being pregnant that makes everyone and their mom have a sudden opinion about what you are doing right and wrong, and their own piece of advice for you...please forgive the following post and chalk it up to hormones and anxiety.

1. If I have to hear another person, particularly another pregnant celebrity that you can't even tell is pregnant except for their perfectly rounded tummy, talk about how wonderful pregnancy is and they are just loving the fact that they get to eat anything and everything and it's just so glorious, I might puke...well more so than I already am. It's probably just jealousy that is making me so mad at this, but I seem to have more morning sickness, headaches, and just all around blah-ness than anyone else I talk to. It feels like the worst flu combined with forced starvation that I could ever have imagined. I cannot eat meat or eggs. I cannot smell meat. I cannot see meat. I cannot smell olive oil, which really sucks because I love Italian food. I can't stand the smell of Taco Bell, my all time favorite place to eat. I hope once the hell months, aka the first trimester is over in two weeks that I will get a little bit back to normal and can start eating like a semi-normal person again.

2. I can not even tell you how many people I talk to that say, "I didn't even know I was pregnant until the doctor told me. I never had any morning sickness or felt sick at all." Well ladi-freakin'-da for you!!!! Now, when I am trying to express how down right miserable I feel, that is not the kind of crap you should tell me unless you have a death wish. This is what my diet has been resorted to: soup, bread with butter on it, water, mashed potatoes, occasionally mac and cheese. That is all that sounds good, tastes good, and stays down.

3. Everyone keeps asking me if I am eating my veggies and fruits and getting enough vitamins and blah blah blah and I really might shove my foot down the next person's throat who asks me that. I am eating what will stay in my stomach and not make me feel like I am going to throw up the kitchen sink, thank you very much.

4. If one more person asks me how far along I am and if I should be as big as I am, or reminds me of the weight gain limits of "healthy" pregnancy, I might shoot someone. For one, I am no bigger than I was before I got pregnant. I happen to have a lot, no really, A LOT, of air in my stomach all the time. I constantly feel like I need a pin to pop it and release some pressure. It is not baby weight, especially since I can't keep anything down long enough for me to gain weight anywhere. Secondly, it is none of your freakin' business, and unless you are my doctor, or a doctor period, please keep your mouth shut.

5. I am pregnant, and it is a major part of my life right now, and will be for the rest of my life. I am very sorry if that does not correlate to what you want to "deal with" or "talk about". I have a constant reminder every minute of every day that I am pregnant and that is what is on my mind. If I listen to what is going on in your life, and ask you questions about your goings on, yet you don't want to hear about what is going on with me, then you should probably not plan on being my friend from now on.

Whew...okay...I'm done for now. Just a few things I have been carrying around (haha literally and metaphorically) for the past few weeks. Thank you for listening to my rant, and I hope I didn't offend anyone out there in blog land...trust me when I say with 110% confidence that none of you are part of the problem. You all keep me sane, or at least as sane as can be expected right now.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Sorry it's been so long...

I apologize for not blogging in a week and a half. Let me tell you what my life has consisted of the past couple of weeks.

Before school ended I had to pack up my entire classroom, including taking everything off the walls so when I went back to school at the end of July I was starting from scratch. I had no bulletin boards up, nothing on shelves, nothing on the walls. Literally today is the first day where I can say I feel like my classroom is ready for kiddos, which is a good thing, since school starts tomorrow.

The morning sickness is being to subside (thank goodness!) and my appetite is slowly but surely coming back. I am now combating constant fatigue. I literally fall asleep for at least two hours when I get home at night. I am impatiently waiting September. Please don't think I am ungrateful or saying I don't want to be pregnant, I very much do. But you have to understand I have felt like complete and utter garbage the past six weeks and have been able to eat crackers, soup, and water only. Nobody can tell I am pregnant, and I certainly don't look pregnant. I feel bloated, cranky and fat. My old clothes are uncomfortable, yet I feel silly trying to fit into maternity clothes. I feel bigger than I should yet not big enough for it to be obvious I am pregnant. It is a very emotionally draining, and uncomfortable place to be in. I can't wait for September and 4 months to be here so I can start showing officially and look pregnant. I also can't wait to wear all these cute maternity clothes that my friend Sara loaned me, and to feel the baby move.

We also moved in the last weekend in July and have been trying to put that together as well. I also start my fall masters class next Monday. It is every Monday until December from 5 to 8 at night. So with the house torn apart, my classroom torn apart, and feeling like crap, I haven't had a lot of down time to write. Hopefully with everything falling into place, I will be able to write on a more regular basis. Hope everyone is doing well!